Why it’s Important to Have a Network of Care Providers

When I’m not working seeing my regulars/clients, I see habitually 2 reiki providers, 3 masseuses, 1 erotic masseuse, 1 coach, 1 adhd/autism specialist, 1 therapist, 1 hair stylist, 1 waxing person, 1 psychiatrist, 1 gym coach, 2 mentors, 1 occupational therapy office, 1 support group, 1 BDSM provider/dominatrix and 1 esc*rt provider. I don’t see everyone at once. These are all repeat connections, so this is my network or care web outside of my small group of friends and partners. It’s vital to invest money on yourself and I as a traumatized neurodivergent person need to do all of these things to regulate and ward off burn out in addition to just resting. They are all fun and rewarding.

I was in a residential mental health facility in 2020 as Covid erupted. It was in New Mexico and there was a Native American woman who read my oracle. I told her about involvement in boundaries/consent lifestyle I was in, and she told me I needed to create a council of community members or guides, guardians, angels and ancestors. People I look up to that would comment on my thoughts and behavior and bring wisdom and awareness. All these care providers are my GAGA (guardians, angels, guides, and ancestors) in addition to just being acquaintance/friends who give me a service. I have what I imagine they would say to me as support in my head at all times because each one knows a part of me. My hairstylist echoes in my head, “How soon until we can go vibrant colors?” she asked my intuitively knowing we are both done having hairstylists turn people blonde. When I think about prolonging suffering I think about my hairstylist - how long do we have to wait disliking something about ourselves and our life before we change it?. Or my reiki/waxing person who tells me after something traumatic that “I was taken away from myself” and I am talking to my hair stylist and my reiki/waxing person at the same time mentally saying “Listen guys, I know you are right. I will return to myself and dye my hair on my Birthday. Thanks for looking out for me.” When you have fragmented care providers you don’t get reflections of yourself in addition to lacking the true purpose of seeing someone regularly, to receive deeper connection.

So start with a therapist. Or start with a hair stylist. Find a new one for this intentional purpose. For some people like me, I have more care providers than friends and that’s fine with me, autism social skills are hard, disability is hard and requieres specialized experts. It’s ok wherever you’re starting out as. The point is to just go back, or reach out to that acquaintance again and ask if they want to be in your life for one more instance again. See if they are open to you or if you’d dislike returning and need to find someone else. Maybe reading this youre realizing you need a better therapist, so stop seeing them. Find your people, the ones who can get you to be your authentic self. Don’t be stuck, listen to what you like. I am happy to do even some case management for coaching clients. If you need better housing, job resources, or to build your care network let’s write down your care web. Coaching is about informing and sparking change. We just gotta ask “how many appointments can I decide on scheduling for myself to get the ball rolling on some things?”. Self care is not just baths and exercise, it's relational awareness and community. Select your personal experts, and prosper with your team.